i've learned....

i've learned so much about myself this year, i used to see i didnt kno myself...i didnt really kno who i was. even tho i lived with myself everyday i didnt really realize wat kinda person i was. i had lost myself, to something that never really mattered. My heart is filled with alot of hope for the future, and at this point thats all im living for, and God ofcourse. im not the life of the party, im jus the girl in the midst of it all, im not the strongest person in the world, but im growing from the bullshit i go through everyday, i'm not emo, but alot of times i feel depressed and lost within myself, im not where wanna be at in my life, but my fantasies take me to the unreality of my soon to be, reality.
i've made enuff mistakes, and everyone has, or will, but i can accept them and move on from it. no point in thinking about what could've been, now its only what its gonna be.
i havent leearned everything but i've learned enuff :]

the blogs below

well we were in 6th and ferrol and jacoby asked me to make a blog about them, so thats wat that was, i didnt say everything that could've been said, so yahh.
since ferrol is graduating i prolly wont see him in my 6th anymore :[[. but we'll keep in touch. goodluck in the "real world" ferrrol, i kno you'll do good for yurself!

This blog is for Ferrol!!! :]

Ferrol, yu are absolutely funny!!!! yur so silly, i didnt even kno yu had in yu. and we're still friends even though yu tol me yu were gonna start tlkn to my friend and yu started tlkn to someone TOTTALLY different! hoe ass move [cough, cough]. but anyways enuff about that
like i said earlier buddy we go bakkk......to those days wen i wqas inb middle school, and as i recall......welll, we tlked lol. but those days are gon with the wind. and now yur nobody to me btu my good ol' friend Ferrol. Love yu mucho!!!
&& i still want that fake i.d! lol. ohhh yahh && yu dnt like yur ex girl anymore (the one yu took to prom) she gets on yur nerves or something. lol. but she's pretty if that means anything.
sincerely,
Chanin Cummings

This blog is for Jacoby!!! :]

ok darling, this is what i think about yu :]]
yu are the type of person, who is my friend, but i dnt really trust yu. d the reason i say this is because yu reavealed my deepest, darkest secret!!! he has no idea about somethings and sometimes he's a lil too BLUNT. i guess that could be good sometimes, but other times its jus plain MEAN. yu dnt like to tlk about yur emotions and thats also annoying.
i dnt even kno who yu are sometimes.
since yur not really an "open book" theres not much i can say about yu. so, here's the lil blog thats about yu.
love,
chanin cummings

my lifee....

damn i aint been on this ish in a long time. but ok, a lotta shit has happened in my life but i dnt feel the need to share it all, cause its a lil personal. but lets jus say i realized in this point of my life i dnt need a relationship. its time to take a long break from that, seriously. i had constantly been goin bakk to the one thing i needed to get away from, but no more of that shit. waist of my fuckinn time! so now im gettin the things done that need to be done.
ohhh && i have a new friend. her name is Lori but her nickname is spanky (only i can call her that) lol. but she's a real bitch, and a goofy ass one lol. yu gotta love her.
ooooo and i have a couple of vacations lined up this summer that im sooo excited about, lord knows i need it. so i've been doin all my summer shopping and wat not.
cause ya know, summer calls for short shorts, tank tops, swimsuits, and anything else that is tight and revealing lol. so i think im covered in that area. anywayys gotta go.
love my readers and i'll be bakk to update with some better topics laterr.

have yu ever been a situation where........

theres a couple of situtions im gonna put up here && ask ya about it.
note: not all these situations have anything to do with me, so dnt be thinkn im goin through this
situation 1: have yu ever been in a stiuation where yu were once in a relationship and yall were in love (puppy love), but yall break up, and something devastating happens to yu && they dnt even have yur bakk?........so effed up

Situation 2: have yu ever felt that there's so much yu wanna say to someone, but deep dwn inside yu kno yu dnt have the courage to do so. so, in the end yu keep it all inside. its builds up in yu, and then yu have to ask yurself, why do i feel so much for them?

Situation 3: have yu ever made mistakes in yur life, and yu kno there mistakes, but yu try and go on like it doesnt effect yu, and then one day yu realize that yu are so hurt, and at the end of the day yu break down and have a long "crying spell"

Situation 4: have yu ever wanted to do so much in yur life, because yu dream so big, but feel like yur doing nothing to accomplish those dreams, and its like yur life is jus passin yu by??

something to think about.......but i gotta go, i'll update later...

modeling cont.

ok so i was suppose to let yall kno how my open call (for modeling) went. the ppl called me bakk, and im suppose to start training or watever if i really wanna do it, but honestly i dnt kno if i do.
im basically gonna be in a modeling school paying almost a thousand dollars for it and theres no gurantee that i'll be signed to an agency, but my bff loves modeling and she really wants to do it. but me on the other hand.....idkk. dnt think im gonna go for it.
so thats basically then end of that.

hola :]]

sry i havent update in a min but i tol yall my lil situation. time for a new computer.
anyyway......i dnt kno wat i should blog about. i mean alot has happened but i dnt kno if i wanna get into all of tht.
but bottom line_______ ppl are thieves. && thieves are LOSERS.
So dear thieves,
I'm sry yu can't afford to get yur own nice shit. I'm sorry that yur life is SHIT, and yu have prey on other ppl so that yu can have the things yu desire.
but its nobody's problem but yur own. Luckily, my materialistic things can be replaced. but a thieving heart will remain in your spirit.
sincerely, chan chan
in case yur wondering my fone got stolen again. getting new one today. but im swear im sick of this shit. cant go anywhere without ppl preying on yur shit.
enuff of that. i've been writing alotta songs lately && i'll try and post them on here in a lil bit. most are unfinished, but i'll finish them. i jus need to find more inspiration. well this is all for now :]]