OK i didnt mean i felt like i was invisible to some1, i meant it to symbolize that i was vanishing, or like i wasnt really here on earth. I basically have alot of emotions on the inside of me that dnt usually come out && the only person who really know's all my emotions is my bestfriend. At 1 point i was saying that i no longer wanted to be here, and i no longer wanted life......&& i cant believe im sharing this, but thats really how i felt. I wasnt on top of things like i should've been, i was worried about the wrong things, i wasnt getting anything done that needed to be done, things that i wanted seemed impossible to achieve, and i still struggle, but i would never kill myself. The reason i am sharing this is because im trying to face the problems i have/had and accept them, then correct them. I'm afaid of where i'll be in a couple of years, because im not the type of girl that is gonna focus on being a doctor, lawyer, phychologist, or sit in some cold office all day. I want to have fun, be creative, be aristic, be spontanious, and be an inspiration. And my methods of doing that, is make-up, hair, music, fasion, and being a public speaker. I dnt want to have a brady bunch type family until years from now, but when i do i want to make sure that i can give and be everything that my children need, and accomplish things in this world so they'll know that they can too, because they'll be a reflection of me. I dnt wanna be living off some man, depending on his income, cause i dnt like depending on people as it is. BUT! I also will want a man who's doing something with himself and making a good living......but anyway thats for the future. Now im tryna hold it together, and get it together, and make it through this year. Everyday's a struggle, but after every struggle theres a breakthrough, jus like after every Thunderstorm, there's a rainbow.
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